Another Selection from our Collection of Terrifying Nixon-Era Children's Books: Danny Goes to the Hospital (James Lincoln Collier and Yale Joel, 1970)

Poor Danny. Like Jennifer Jean, the Cross-Eyed Queen Danny's eyes need to be straightened, but he's got a such a severe strabismus he ends up looking at the ceiling when he's trying to guide a piece of toast into his mouth:

Then again, maybe those are just the demon's eyes:

See kids, the hospital ain't so bad. If you're lucky they'll strap you down and run this gigantic machine over your chest while wearing aprons to protect them from whatever they're shooting through you!

The doctors at this hospital love it when you sit on their laps.

Anyone want to be play good nurse/bad nurse?

These are the ladies who make your gelatin dessert:

This is the guy who fixes the toys in the children's ward:

These are the gentlemen who will fill your lungs with gas until you pass out [take note, kids, this gas is not nearly as awesome as the stuff in Michael and the Dentist]:

Let's see how you eat your toast now, Danny.

WTF?

Well Danny, now you're an even better hitter than Sally Hobart Alexander.

 

Previous Book: Jennifer Jean, the Cross-Eyed Queen

This blog seeks to share excerpted content from out-of-print children's books. If you are the copyright holder of any of these books and are unhappy with this usage, please contact me immediately and I will rectify it.

Another Selection from our Collection of Terrifying Nixon-Era Children's Books: Jennifer Jean, the Cross-Eyed Queen (Phyllis Naylor and Harold Lamson, 1967)

I have alluded to this one in the past, but never shared it. It's not all that terrifying, once you get over the color scheme. It's the exact color of Linda Blair's pea soup puke in The Exorcist

 

Previous Book: The Little Old Man

This blog seeks to share excerpted content from out-of-print children's books. If you are the copyright holder of any of these books and are unhappy with this usage, please contact me immediately and I will rectify it.

Wonderfully Made, by Ruth Hummel (Concordia Sex Education Series, 1967)

I've come across plenty of weird old books trying to explain sexuality to kids, but this is probably the most happy and colorful. It was published by the Board of Parish Education of the Lutheran Church and intended for boys and girls in Grades 4-6.

I don't really know what's going on with the the whole horseback riding thing. I'm sure it's supposed to be an analogy for. . .well, you know. . .

The significance of the leering inflatable beach horse sort of escapes me too. Man, that is one creepy inter-tube horse:

I love the midcentury sensibility of the illustrations when the book really gets down to business:

That has to be the best font for the word testicles ever. It deserves to be appreciated bigger:

The Lutherans who wrote the book chose not to take a side in the breastfeeding debate:

Jeez, Don's father. Everything I learned about sex as a teenager I learned in the school washroom. It's got to be better than the Internet.

Man, what was going on in those 1960s school washrooms?

The only thing keeping me from using this book with my own kids is the dated gender stereotypes.

But with a little photoshopping, I think I can fix it:

Now that's more like it.

 

Previous Book: Dear Little Mumps Child

This blog seeks to share excerpted content from out-of-print children's books. If you are the copyright holder of any of these books and are unhappy with this usage, please contact me immediately and I will rectify it.

Dear Little Mumps Child, by Marguerite Rush Lerner, M.D. (1959)

 I'm sharing this one today to continue with winter-themed books but also because I enjoy both the irrelevancy of the topic with the atypically-modern portrayal of a female doctor. George Overlie's fantastic mid-century illustrations accompany the text by Dr. Marguerite Lerner, the sister-in-law of the founder of Lerner Books, which initially published medical books to explain various ailments to kids and publishes kids' books to this day. After the success of Dear Little Mumps Child, Lerner published Michael Gets the Measles, Peter Gets the Chickenpox, and Doctor's Tools. The MMR Vaccine developed in the late 1960s would eventually most of Lerner's titles irrelevant, though she would continue to collaborate with Overlie on several more titles.

The little mumps child's modern country house is pretty great: 

I have read this book to my daughter, explaining that she can never get mumps, but to this day she's convinced you can get sick from getting hit by a snowball.

I really like the way the phone wire stretches across the fold to the doctor's office. Of course, I also love that like the author of the book, the doctor who comes to diagnose the mumps is a woman. You've come along way since Women at Work, children's books of the 1950s!

And this doctor does house calls in a sweet 1950s Detroit gem. And check out that chair!

And those beds (with electric pillows and hot water bottles!):

 

Previous Book: Too Many Mittens

This blog seeks to share excerpted content from out-of-print children's books. If you are the copyright holder of any of these books and are unhappy with this usage, please contact me immediately and I will rectify it.